Poor little Terry, he just sits and suffers in his
Donít know where to put himself, he sees no relief;
He hasnít scored in ages, fears that heís become a virgin,
Doesnít get seduced so much as kicked in the teeth;
He thinks of last nightís date and shudders at the whole farrago,
Spent the entire evening wishing he were dead,
Until he realised that he had nothing left to lose, and
Throwing caution to the four winds, Terry said:
"Do you have a younger sister, one who isnít so blasé?
Take me home and introduce me - maybe I could make her day;
Letís face facts, Iím no Don Juan and youíre too inaccessible
So do you have a younger sister, one whoís more caressable?"
Do You Have A Younger Sister? is a song with a fictional narrator, who is not to be identified with the artist. In no wise do I advocate the practice of carnal relations with persons not of legal age. Indeed, at no point in the song does Terry engage in such practices.
This disclaimer is inserted for two purposes:
1) To signify my outrage at the unsubstantiated hype about "child pornography widely available on the Internet" and at the rabid witch-hunts and censorship following in the wake of such objectively groundless foamings; and
2) To spell out in as many words that I am not part of the worldwide conspiracy (which in any case does not exist) to steal children, wilfully abuse them and then eat them whilst singing paeans of praise to Beelzebub, using flags of all nations as bottom-wipes and preparing a mass armed uprising by the underclass of three continents with the aim of getting network television to screen unedited versions of Robocop and the like.
No doubt such a plain, unambiguous statement will still pass some cretins by and I'll shortly be hauled over the coals for material which I have never posted and never possessed, advocating practices which I have never committed and never condoned.
Now, if you want some really suspicious material, listen to my song Are You Sitting Comfortably? I'm sure you could prove from it that I'm a member of the Waffen SS. I mean, it's sung in the first person and everything, so it must be true...
That last bit's a joke, by the way.
In any case, all material on this page remains copyright, and may be used only with the express permission of the author(s).