I read this heap of newspeak nonsense in a press-release today:
"Marking the next evolution of its network-enabled Datacenter 3.0 vision to transform the datacenter into a virtualised environment providing anytime, anywhere access to content on any device, Cisco has unveiled the Cisco Nexus 5000 Series of datacenter-class switches, introduced industry-leading interoperability via an ecosystem of application and systems partners and accelerated adoption with a datacenter channel partner enablement strategy."
Its the bloody Cybermen. Someone has surgically removed the language-processing centres of the poor bloody writer's brain and replaced them with advertising bumf written by a semi-literate salesman in a suit who couldn't tell a router from a roach.
The rest of the press release isn't quite that bad, but it still contains fake-English hackneyed crapshit like:
"standards-based, input/output (I/O) consolidation solution" ... "rapid provisioning of application and infrastructure services from shared pools of consolidated compute, storage, and network resources." ... "To further align with opportunities in the datacenter, Cisco is evolving its channel program to help allow partners to build a network-centric datacenter practice." ... "Cisco is further enhancing its partner enablement portfolio with the introduction of the Cisco Datacenter Partner Practice Builder, a proven, simplified and repeatable approach to building a Cisco solutions-based practice, along with Steps to Success, a business building platform that provides a step-by-step customer engagement model and associated resources designed to enable partners to sell, deliver, and support Cisco advanced technology business solutions."
VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT OMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TIMOV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMI VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT OMIV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TOIV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TOMI VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TMOV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMITVOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TIOV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TIMO VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT IMOV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT TOMIV TMIV VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT
And don't blame the computer programmers and network engineers for not communicating properly. I bet the folk who actually designed the machines could write far better than this if they were allowed within a thousand miles of it. Well, maybe not te engineers, but at least what they wrote would mean something more than "we have lots of shiny new boxes and we want your money". The problem here isn't technical jargon, its meaningless stereotyped cliches forced into a convoluted over-complex bland fake dialect of a language bearing some distant relation to English as spoken by sycophantic yes-men with narrowly-passed MBAs from expensive schools who crap in their pants every time their boss walks down the corridor. What's happened here is that managers, salesmorons, and marketdroids have bypassed the techies and given some lobotomised writer a heap of buzzwords that they don't understand and told them to include them all. While over all looms the blurred shadow of the Corporate Lawanker who has the Holy Book Of (TMs) (TM) stuffed up his shirt and will pursue your innocent budgerigar for ever through the Court of Lost Causes if you make one tiny deviation from the External Relations Department Official Turn of Phrase and LOGO CapitALisaTion(TM) Manual(C)(TM)(R)(and Bar)
You can spot the buzzers being ticked off one-by one:
"Fibre Channel over Ethernet (FCoE)" ... "Datacenter Ethernet" ... "virtualization technologies" ... "local area network (LAN), Fibre Channel and iSCSI-based storage-area networks (SANs)" ... "virtual machine (VM) optimised services" ... "line-rate, low-latency, 10 Gigabit Ethernet switching"
And the fucking bastards would probably have the brainless ignorant gall to criticise any native speaker of real English who had the guts to fight back against the tyranny of the MicroShite Bored SpeelAndGrandmaClunker by allowing their press-releases to be influenced by the actual English language and split an infinitive or use singular "they" or (Ghu Forbid) use the passive voice.
(For Americans reading this the Cybermen are like the original of the Borg except they used to be scarier before they became very tinny sometime in the 1970s)